Originally published on Ms. In The Biz - March 2015

There’s this transformation brewing in my soul. I don’t know exactly what it looks like, and that’s okay.

For 15 years now, I have lived on, what some may call, the “edge”. Or perhaps, to the beat of my own drum. For me, that has out-pictured as a gazillion and one, freelance gigs, gigs that make me happy, and allow me to have a completely in-flux, operative, organized, yet kinda wildly open schedule to pursue whatever creative whim catches my heart at the moment. I’ve had some pretty head-turning freelance gigs over the years; from touring the country with a dear friend as her assistant, (at the time she was an adult film star on a dance tour), to a 3 month stint with the US Census, countless rock and roll gigs, countless tradeshow gigs, and a few ‘can’t believe I did that’ gigs like the Yogurt Tour. (You’ll have to ask me about that in person.) And all of that’s in addition to my creative pursuits and career highlights, conventions, panel appearances, etc. etc. No one, friend or foe, would ever be able to call my life boring.

Why am I telling you all of this? I guess, to give you a feeling of the go-go-go, adventure after adventure lifestyle I’ve created for myself in Hollywood. And I feel like I’m at this cross-roads of sorts. There’s a part of me that wants the merry-go-round to slow down a little, touch the ground a little bit more (that’s the Taurus in me); and then there’s this other part of me that’s saying, no way, we’re just getting started, or maybe more like, you’ve come this far, just a little bit further!

There’s a lot of great stuff swirling around in my creative life right now. People, places, and projects coming to fruition, with teams of people that I am honored to work beside. It feels like there’s a big energy push in my life, back to what I love most, which is performing. Hosting, Acting, Voice Overs, even Modeling and Dance (though these days it’s Fire Dancing that has me wanting more).

The past few years saw me spend most of my time launching a crowdfunding business. A business, I never planned to launch, but just happened. It’s been very good to me. I’m not looking for a penthouse office, with a leather chair though. That’s never been my dream, except when I fantasized about being a journalist, for some reason in my fantasy, journalists usually have pretty stylin’ offices. I digress.

I have all of these creative pursuits in my heart and I feel a bit off-kilter. The left side of my brain has been working much longer hours than the right-side of my brain. It was a necessary evil. I didn’t have much of a choice but to grow and expand the crowdfunding side of things, as there has been a huge demand of my time in that area. I’m grateful. It’s allowed me to get my credit score back into the land of the living.
I think a lot of creatives can relate to the feeling of …. “Maybe I’m not really good enough to be a real (fill in the blank-actress, musician, writer, painter..) “ , and for me, I found myself asking if I was meant to be a well-known actress/host/author wouldn’t it already be that way? As if there was a timeframe on one’s dream.

Last night, I spent time with a childhood friend I hadn’t seen in 30 years. 30 years. That’s a long time. Our parents were good friends and our Dads were co-workers back in the 70s. We haven’t seen each other since approx. 1984. And this woman, who I haven’t seen since we were girls, told me that she wasn’t surprised when she found out I lived in Hollywood as an actress. She said, that’s how she remembered me. Always performing. Singing. Dancing. And her older sister chimed in and said she remembered I’d choreograph and produce routines for us to perform for our parents. Now, I remember doing that with my four younger siblings, (it’s actually in my imdb bio), but I didn’t realize I had choreographed the family friend’s kids as well. A gentle nudge from the universe, reminding me that I have always been a performer. And yet, there’s another part of me, that longs to throw it all to the wind, and get completely off the grid. Some other country, some other lifestyle, some other mission. Start a non-profit, an organization, some bigger purpose all together.

Like I said, it’s as if I’m at a crossroads, the winds of change are blowing, and I’ve always lived my life like Mary Poppins would say, “wherever the wind takes me.” It’s not easy to stay present and focused in the winds of change. A lot of emotions can come up, a lot of life reviews, and possibly self-doubt and negative talk, if you haven’t built that muscle up yet. I’m doing my best to not judge my thoughts or feelings. To realize and honor, that I’ve got a lot going for me, my life is pretty dang awesome, and filled with the adventuresome, spontaneous moments that I love so much.

I may not know what’s around the bend, or even what this next chapter looks like in my life; and that’s okay.   All that matters is that I am here.

What tips and tricks do you use to keep yourself centered amidst change? Have you ever felt pulled in different directions or experienced something similar to this? I’d love to hear more about your journey with this in the comments section below.

Originally published on Ms. In The Biz - Feb 2015
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I recently bought a new car. It’s brand new.

This was a big experience for me. It’s the first time in my adult life that I purchased a new car from a sales rep that was not my friend, and did not have any family/friends with me. In California, my friend Riki Valentine (former Tour Manager/Personal Assistant to Bret Michaels), had gone into the car business and took care of me. Since moving to LA, Riki has sold me my last 3 cars.

Now, buying a car takes a lot of negotiations and paperwork, but with Riki by my side, I just supplied him with the information needed and trusted that he was getting me the best deal at the time, based on numerous circumstances like job history, pay stubs, and credit.   And as a newbie actress in this town, there wasn’t a lot of that information to provide, but somehow Riki always got the deal done.

This time around I’m on my own and I needed a car immediately. My little car was deemed unsafe to drive and the repairs were the same cost as the worth of the car (@ $3000), so it was time for Leah to walk into a car dealer on her own and get a car. Now the good news is, I was walking in knowing that my credit is now strong, my bank accounts prove a stable income, and I was pre-approved for a car loan online. All I had to do was walk into the dealership, test-drive a few cars and pick one out. Right?!

Turns out it wasn’t that easy.  I went to the Honda dealer, as I was hoping to stay in the same family. I had been happy with my Honda Insight, and very happy with the service department there. Plus, the week prior I had gotten an email from Robertson Honda that they were in need of used cars like mine, and would get me the best friends and family deal on my new purchase. No brainer, right? I had multiple emails back and forth with the woman in the finance department, and she was excited to meet me and get me rolling. What happened instead was, since I was an “easy sale”, and I really was determined to not end the day without a new suv; the finance woman, who was very nice, handed me over to the NEW GUY.

After FOUR hours, 3 test-drives, multiple texts with family members, barely a negotiation from this guy, and not even an offer of water to drink, I finally asked for my keys back (they had been holding them since I was trading in my car) and said I was leaving.   Only at this point, did the head sales guy come over and within seconds, he listened to my wants, needs, and budget, and came up with numbers that were much closer to what I wanted.  We finally had a good deal on the table, but I felt so drained, and so unimportant, I mean I had spent 4 hours while the original salesman had to keep going back and forth to his supervisors to give me any answer whatsoever, because he was so brand new he had no answers.

I got up to leave, and the main guy made one last offer, it was a good offer, on the car I wanted, the first one we had test-drove. A part of me really wanted to say yes, but my pride was hurt. I stated that I was going to take a dinner break, and come back and get the car after dinner.

Instead, I drove over to Kia of Glendale. I pulled up and a female saleswoman introduced herself. I told her how my day had gone, and that I had a great offer on the table. She replied, “You have an offer, I have to beat it. You are not leaving here without a car.”

And I didn’t. She listened to what I wanted. She explained things, the other guy hadn’t, she came up with ideas, and she really sold me on the car, and all while making me feel appreciated and heard. And I drove home with my new car.

Okay, so how does this relate to the entertainment industry?!  Ready for this? 

See, I was prepared when I went into the first dealership. My credit is good, my loan was pre-approved, I even had a trade-in vehicle, and a past-history with the dealership, yet no deal was made.  Was it me? Did I not know how to play this game? No, remember I’m prepared, and an easy sale! Plus, I had watched my friend Riki work deal after deal for me when I had no credit, savings, or proof of income years prior. The salesman was unmotivated, inexperienced, and frankly didn’t seem like he wanted to be there doing that job. It left me feeling unheard and unappreciated. Yet, an hour later, at another dealership, and BOOM, things are happening, things are moving along, we’re taking photos, making jokes, becoming Facebook friends, and I drove away with a brand new car.

How many times do we go into a casting or a meeting totally prepared, with all of the right criteria, resume, pitch packet etc., and yet something doesn’t click and we don’t get cast, or the deal falls thru? How many times, do we think, it must have been something I said (or didn’t say). Or, man, I didn’t say that line the way I wanted to. I meant to say it in a whisper, and instead I kind of yelled it.

Guess what? Maybe, just maybe, the casting director, the investor, whomever, was behaving (or having a bad day), just like my original sales guy. Nothing you presented them with, was going to make things go any smoother or click into place, because they’re off in unmotivated/uninterested land.   Yet, the exact same audition, information, pitch, to another person, 10 minutes later WILL get you the job.

Driving home that night, I couldn’t help but think of all of the many auditions and meetings I’ve taken over the year; things that I had poured my heart into, things I was so prepared for, right for, and yet didn’t get the job and somehow let that leave me feeling inadequate, when in fact, it just wasn’t a match.

Or how many times, have we forced a project or business relationship, even though something felt a little off… When in fact, the best thing may be to get up and walk out, like I did at the Honda dealer, because the very next meeting, may be the one that allows us to feel fulfilled, heard, appreciated, AND a great deal on a shiny new car, I mean project. Stand in your power. Know what you bring to the table. And if the person or persons you’re dealing with can’t see that, don’t respect that, aren’t willing to negotiate… Walk Out. The right one is just around the corner.

Originally published on Ms. In The Biz - Sept, 14, 2014
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A few years ago, I took some time off from Los Angeles, and for the most part acting, hosting, and voice over as well. It was a scary decision, as at that point I had lived and breathed LA and my budding career for about 12 years, never wanting to be gone for more than a week, afraid that I’d miss some amazing opportunity, audition, job, or meeting. Leaving town was something I needed to do, frankly for my own sanity.
I spent 10 months away, and began to really go deeper on this journey to self-love and taking care of me. Granted, home for me is a major city and I still auditioned in Philly and New York and appeared at some cons and festivals while I was out there, but not at the frenetic, every waking second is about trying to score that next audition or job, or refining my brand, or being seen at that networking event, pace that I had become accustomed to.

One of my very first pieces for Ms In the Biz, went into detail about my life-long journey to self-love, so I thought I’d update you on my progress. I wrote that first piece about a year and a half ago, and I’m happy to say, I feel this summer in particular, has seen some major shifts and improvements on that journey.
About 2 months ago, I signed up for a 7-day, all women, Radiant Cleanse/Yoga Workshop at Golden Bridge Yoga in Hollywood. The class was for 90 minutes at 7am for 7 days and as part of the program we were asked to stick to a Vegan/Alkaline diet.
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Now, the one thing I’m good at, is sticking to a plan, when there are other people involved. If it’s just me, forget it; but if I even think there’s someone holding me accountable, than I am determined to get It right. And I did. For seven days, I chose my meals carefully, and purchased them on a daily basis from the Café inside of the Yoga studio. This way I was certain to be following the recommended eating plan.

And I did it. Without a single wrong turn, or back slide. And just like that, I broke the intense hold (addiction) that sugar has had on me for about four years now.

It wasn’t just the meal plan, although that was a huge part of it, but it was the loving community of women coming together every morning. A group of women, who had committed to spend this special time with each other each morning. The facilitators showered us with love and gifts daily.   It felt like a special initiation into the next phase of self-love.

I lost about 6 pounds that week. Purely from letting go of sugar, carbs, grease, and meat.   Now this is not to say, that I am now strictly vegan, because I am not. In fact, since the class ended, I’ve been trying out all sorts of different menu plans, and activities to keep myself away from the sugar, and on target to getting back to a healthy weight, and a healthy me.

About a week after the class ended, not having put any sort of plan into action, I felt myself drifting back to a routine of daily stops at Starbucks. I immediately, made a detour and checked out my first Juicing Café, and purchased a 3-day all fruit/veggie detox.   It was great. Since then, I’ve tried a few others, as well as doing a 9-day Isagenix Cleanse.

But it’s not just about the menu plan… I have also neglected regular doctor visits for a long time, and this summer I found myself taking care of that part of my life too.   I haven’t even had a regular doctor or any health practitioner for that matter for a long time. My “health records” are scattered about in local LA clinics, and various doctors here and there. When you move to LA alone, and you’re self-employed, and making pennies, one of the first things to go is Health Insurance.  

This year, when the Affordable Care Act went into effect, I was able to afford Health Care for the first time in 15 years! So in the past 2 months, I’ve found a primary care provider, got myself a physical and all sorts of blood work taken. I’ve visited a gynecologist, and got all that stuff taken care of including my first mammogram (as a 40 yr old woman), is scheduled for next week.   I also went and saw a holistic doctor who did a live blood analysis panel (so neat!), and put me on daily Chlorophyll and Candida De-Tox Drops. This may be a bit TMI, but I’m also participating in a set of 6 visits for Colonic Hydrotherapy as well. (2 more to go!).

I’ve also started to exercise again. Slowly. I bought a Groupon for some Pilates Reformers classes that were awesome. I woke up after 4 classes, thinking my appendix was bursting, and then realized that it was just my ABS beginning to come back to life after 4 years of lethargy and binge eating. I’ve also been dancing a lot, and recently signed up for a month of Fire Dancing Classes. Two classes actually, Level 1 Fire Fans, and Level 2 Fire Poi! I’m really excited about that.

All of this to say, I feel good. I’m taking care of myself. I’m also being careful not to set myself up for failure (or worse yet, some crazy obsessive behavior), by setting up some strict menu plan or exercise regime. I’m switching it up, pretty much on a weekly basis. Whatever Groupon catches my eye, that’s the exercise I’ll do. If I’m in the mood for a juice cleanse I’ll do that. If I’m in the mood to eat alkaline that week, I’ll do that.

And it’s working. I’ve dropped 17 pounds in two months, and am now under 200 pounds for the first time in about a year.

But more importantly, I’m recognizing that we only get one body, and we only get so long on this planet. There’s so much more I want to do in this lifetime, including travel and adventures, and have a family. I’m really lucky that the way I’ve treated my body, hasn’t caused any serious damages, and that all of the exams and tests I’ve done in the past few months, have come up with minor concerns, if anything.

I’m gonna keep rocking my way to a healthy body and mind, and I hope you are too. And guess what? In the past few months, not only has my health and energy improved, but I’m attracting great projects and great people into my life on a daily basis. Our inner world, truly does reflect our outer world. Like they say.. You are what you eat AND the company you keep!   Choose Wisely!

​I’ve been attending Comic Con’s and Conventions for almost a decade, and speaking on panels for a few years now, but just a few months ago, I got a taste of what it feels like to be a VIP Guest at a Con. And boy, did it feel GREAT!!
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I was invited to be a VIP Guest to the first ever Pop Culture Expo held just outside of Boston, Massachusetts for Memorial Day Weekend.   The event was produced by Gary Sohmers and Image Meet and Greets; and a ridiculously awesome time was had by all.

I arrived via a complimentary round-trip airfare, at the airport to be greeted by a representative from the Con and shuttled to the hotel (also comped).   I soon found myself in the shuttle with actors and actresses from Game of Thrones, Supernatural, Disney, and much more.
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We spent a weekend together, being treated to complimentary meals, dinner parties, autograph signings, and panels.   The staff was extremely polite and helpful and continually checked in on our booths to make sure we were well fed and watered.

​I was scheduled to appear on the Voice Actor panel two days in a row, and at the last minute was also asked to moderate Alaina Huffman’s panel for the weekend. Both panels were amazing, but the highlight of my weekend, was inviting actor Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters), to join our Voice Actor panel, and having him take time away from his booth to show up! Here I am reading out loud a scene from the script, thinking, wow the actor next to me REALLY sounds like the real deal from Ghostbusters…. CAUSE HE IS!!!   What a fantastic moment.

I’ll be honest, a few times during the weekend I thought wow, how did I end up here?   But here’s the catch… I was the only one thinking that! To everyone else, I had earned my place there right along with the rest of them.   A running theme in my life and career, so it’s important to remember, just lasting all of these years in Hollywood is a SUCCESS story in and of itself, but add some television, movie, and producing credits, now you’re success rate is higher than the average and something to really be proud of.
Remember, as you go along this journey, most folks will glance at your credits, check out your imdb page, and assume you’re successful and happy unless YOU tell them otherwise. 
I hope you join me in celebrating the successes, and shifting perspective to what we HAVE accomplished, rather than what we haven’t. Would love to hear from you on any shifts you’ve had lately, career or otherwise!

*Originally Written for Ms. In The Biz  5/7/14* 

I’ve blogged a lot about my journey to self-love, and lately I’ve been speaking a lot about it as well!  In February, I was invited to speak on a panel at the first ever “F Word Event” produced by Asha Daya of Girl Talk HQ and Sarah Moshman of Heartfelt Productions.

It was a fabulously new experience for me, as typically I lead a panel of women on topics of self-love, body image, and eating disorders, but at this event, I was asked to present a 10 minute speech about body image (a la a ted talk) on my own, and I was up first.  I had a lot of chatter in my brain around the event, what was I going to say? How can I keep it upbeat and inspiring talking about a subject that I still haven’t conquered?  Turns out, I had nothing to fear, and many, many women approached me after or online to thank me and share their own stories.  A beautiful event and I met  a ton of new awesome ladies.

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In April, I was invited to be a guest on Go Curvy, Hosted by Sherry Lee Meredith.  I’ve now been a guest two times, but that first show was about, you guessed it Emotional Eating. Another new experience, this time in a talk-show format, with women I hadn’t met yet, and being Ustreamed across the web.  I wasn’t as nervous for this, I guess because there was no speech to memorize and I’m great with off-the cuff, in the moment, interviews. It was exhilarating and the show is fabulous. Sherry Lee is amazing, and the production value is top notch. Be sure to check out the entire episode on Emotional Eating, and enjoy this fun clip, where Sherry brought me into the kitchen to make some healthy snacks.

*Originally written for Ms. In The Biz 3/3/14*

Life sometimes gets in the way of Life… or more so Life happens and you find yourself in a completely different mindset and place than you envisioned yourself to be.


I started the new year off with a great attitude, feeling strong, and ready to take on the world, my demons, and to continue to climb to the top of every mountain I came across.  I soon found myself in a frantic journey to find a new home.  As some of you know, in 2012 I lovingly took on Gypsy Mode, and spent time in Philly, NYC, Atlantic City, Vegas, and Nashville before settling back into LA in 2013. I had been renting a gorgeous bedroom in the Hollywood Hills for most of 2013, and had gotten quite comfortable with my situation. Pay my rent to the lady who rents the house and that was the extent of my responsibilities. No lease, no repairs, no utilities, just pay my rent and be good to go.    Just before the holidays, I was given notice to move by February.  Now, that seems like a long time, but after my concussion and a 3 week trip back east for the holidays, I was left with just 3 weeks to find a new place to call home.  If you’re not in Los Angeles, you’re probably thinking okay, 3 weeks to find a place, no big deal.  Except in LA it is a big deal.


I looked at about 35 guest houses and 25 apartments. I was in my car 6-8 hours a day going to appointments and/or searching for rental signs.  And soon it became a full time job.  This is the part where life gets in the way of life…  I suddenly had just enough time to keep my current social media and crowd-funding clients happy, but had no time at all for exercise, sleep, or any kind of social life. I joyously had one audition during that time, but was left without the gusto or energy to pursue new projects or go to the ever important networking events.


It’s easy to get depressed when “nothing” appears to be happening in your career, and it can be frustrating when the reason “nothing” is happening is because you have no time to focus on it.  But, as you know, you have to trust the process… you have to trust that all is working out the way it’s supposed to be and lo and behold I was offered a lead role in a horror feature this summer, booked a ½ dozen new crowdfunding clients, and have been invited to be a guest speaker at an amazing event happening in March.  All while scouring every corner of LA for my perfect guest house.


So where am I now? Well, I still  haven’t found that perfect place, I mean, I found at least 10 suitable places, but for me, I’m not willing to compromise on something , especially after the last 2 years of gypsy mode/freedom. I just can’t plop down a few thousand dollars, and sign a lease on something I don’t love. I know what I want, and when I walk in I will feel at home


In the meantime, I’m renting a bedroom from a friend who is travelling in India. She’s been on a very inspirational journey, and in some weird way, being in her space right now, is also inspiring.. knowing that not too long ago, she was here feeling some of the same feelings of frustration with career and watching the ticking clock, yet she had the courage to pack up and go to India, on her own and really experience life in another country.  Casting calls and auditions will still be here when she returns.


It is challenging though, trying to run not only my actor business, but also my crowd-funding business out of boxes and suitcases and makeshift offices…. But I feel as if there’s something else about to unfold, perhaps I’ll be traveling soon myself, and there’s no need for a lease anywhere.


As I write this, my 3 month old nephew is on Day 6 in the intensive care unit of Dupont Hospital.  He was diagnosed with a very rare form of Infant Botulism. He is getting stronger every day, and is expected to make a full recovery. But, it’s a very scary thing.. and back to the life getting in the way of life theme… nothing else matters right now in my day outside of getting updates from home as to how my nephew is doing.  I have to force myself to answer emails, or promote my latest project on facebook, because truly does any of that REALLY matter?!


Yes, of course it matters, but you know what I mean… When a precious life is at risk, a baby, a family member, nothing else matters.   I know my nephew is going to be alright, he is strong and his parents are amazing, and everyone will get thru this even stronger than before.. but again, it makes me think.


I’m approaching a rather large milestone birthday and as I look around; at my career, my ‘home’, my finances, my body, there are so many things I’d like to improve.. some days I’m not even sure who I am or what I’m doing.  I have a lot to figure out.  I’m determined to make improvements in all areas of my life, life is precious, time goes by super fast, and as cool as the parties, awards, red-carpets, etc are.. what is it that really fills your heart with joy?  Is it the craft? Is it the career moments? The good ones, or all the moments?  What is it that we’re fighting so hard to accomplish out here, sacrificing financial stability, and often times mental/emotional stability?
I’m going deeper. I thank you for being a part of this journey with me.
Live Love. Love Life.

*originally written for Ms. In The Biz  12/17/13*

​The past few months I’ve been working out a minimum of 3x a week, taking probiotics and a few other natural supplements that my new therapist has prescribed, spending time with my spiritual community at Agape, and making a nice income from advising crowd funding campaigns, with the occasional awesome audition or acting opportunity popping up.

That all sounds great, and it truly is, but for some reason I still don’t have this whole self-love / binge eating dealio in check.  I know it’s a process, and processes take time, but I’d really love to be over this stage of my human development.
But some things just take time.

For instance a few days before Thanksgiving, I got injured at my morning boot camp class.  Long story short, it’s a group of friends who do a cross-fit style class but with the use of monster tires, and ropes in an outdoor park in Burbank.  I set myself up wrong for the last exercise of the day, a leg press (I’m good at leg presses), but instead the 350 pound monster tire came crashing down on my face and chest.  At first it was comical; I lay there as if in a cartoon, invisible under the tire, with a tiny voice yelling “Help! Help!” My work-out partners came to my rescue and I brushed it off and finished the last round for the day.

Not until 2 hours later, when I saw my swollen forehead and eye did I realize this wasn’t funny, I was injured.  Not until 2 days later, of repeat confusion, dizziness, making wrong turns while driving, and crying out of confusion and feeling scared, did I realize this was serious, and a friend convinced me to go to the ER for X-rays and a CT Scan.

Luckily, nothing was broken or bleeding inside and the diagnosis was Concussion and Chest Contusions (fancy word for bruises) and the prescription was rest.  Serious rest, not just take it easy, but the kind of rest where you keep the lights off and lay in bed and just sleep. I couldn’t do many emails, or my head would pound, and I didn’t even attempt to read a book, so I was forced into a resting mode for about 5 days, including Thanksgiving Day.   In the dark, with nothing but my 2 kitty cats to keep me company.

A situation like that puts a lot of things in perspective.  One, you realize that you do, or maybe you don’t, have a core group of friends that you can count on to be by your side when you’re in need of someone to just sit by your bedside and hold your hand. Two, you realize how quickly life can change. In a moment’s notice, things I took for granted, like texting with my thumb at super-human speeds, were increasingly and frustratingly difficult. Three, the world will function without you; you CAN take a break and unplug.  For me, it also made me realize how grateful I am to have the intellectual capacity I have. I take for granted my intelligence, my quick thinking, my incredible multi-tasking skills… and I often forget that those aren’t things that everyone has.

It’s been a little over 2 weeks now, and I’m still processing it all.  I’m running at about 85% brain capacity now. I still have some aches and pains, and I’m still trying to take it easy.  I’m really looking forward to the upcoming holidays.  I’ll be spending 3 weeks back east with all 6 of my nieces and nephews, and cannot wait to slow down and enjoy the time with those precious little ones.
My perspective and outlook on not only my own God-given skills, but on the pace of life, and daily activities has really been shaken up by this injury, and I’m sure there are many more golden lessons to come from it.   I hope it doesn’t take an injury for you to appreciate your gifts, so let my injury serve as a reminder to all of you.. to appreciate yourself, your gifts, your uniqueness, to make sure you surround yourself with friends who will sit by your bedside and hold your hand when needed, and to honor this amazing brain and body we have all been given, by allowing it some REAL REST time, a real unplugging.. because it’s in the UNPLUGGING that we truly Re-Charge.

*Originally posted on Ms. In The Biz 10/21/13*
As multi-hyphenates in this over-sharing, over-connected, social-media-approval driven world, it’s often easy to feel like we are doing that we can do to move forward. That we have every minute of the day accounted for and that our life is running according to our well-planned out calendar.

But what about your soul? Your heart? Your spirit? Call it what you want, but there’s a part of each of us that is nourished on much more than regular food, progress, success, that next booking, or a successful crowd-funding campaign.

My past year or so has been a mixture of disconnecting and re-charging with things like Yoga, Acupuncture, and other holistic healings, as well as re-connecting with the things that really matter and/or things that I really want in my life.
In 2010, I did something super scary and after a solid 11 years in Los Angeles, I packed up my car and headed East for an extended break. 

Once I got back east, I found myself running from Philly to NY daily to meet with casting directors, attend workshops etc., and it took me about 2 months to realize I wasn’t taking that BREAK that I travelled 3000 miles for.  I was still running, running, running.  So I imposed a break. I told myself it was OKAY if the only thing on my calendar that day was a yoga class. It was OKAY if I sat on the couch in my pj’s and read books all day.   It was difficult, but slowly but surely I found myself relaxing and disconnecting.

As actors we work so hard at networking, sending out updates, postcards and mailings, that it’s a scary thought to let all that go, even temporarily. BUT, what’s more important; that a casting director got another postcard from you announcing changes on your website, OR,  taking time to feed your soul, so that the next time you DO run into that casting director, she/he can read the relaxed energy all over you.

I opted for the relaxed energy.

And now that I’m back full-time in Los Angeles, I’m redefining myself. Learning who and what I really want to still be connected to. Restructuring my business plans and deciding what works and what doesn’t. I haven’t sent out a postcard update in TWO YEARS. However, I’ve decided, it’s time for a new update.  I have new headshots, a new website, a new commercial agent, and frankly, I’m going to be cast much differently than I was 2 years ago, so it’s time for a new mailing.  I’m going into it with ease though. I’m no longer stressed that I have to keep the top agents and managers and 500 other people updated on my every move.

Take a look at your current schedule, your daily routine, your monthly routine. Where can you fit in time for a soul recharging?  What things did you used to do, that maybe you’ve forgotten about?

When I first joined SAG, I attended SAG Foundation events all the time!  3x a week, maybe even more! I volunteered for events, I moderated events, I attended events.  For me, that wasn’t work, it was a soul-charge.  I always leave those events feeling inspired and motivated.  So, I’m actively attending those events again.  I went to a Conversation with Scott Baio last week, and loved it. It’s something I realize that is missing from my life.

There are little things that you can add to your schedule for a soul-charge. We live in Los Angeles.  When was the last time you grabbed a blanket and a book and sat on the beach (or in a park)?!  If you have to think about it, it’s too long. So a few weekends ago, I decided to do just that; two days in a row actually. One day I drove over to Malibu just as the sun was setting but with enough time to get one chapter in my book read, and the other day I went to Dockweiler and spent a few hours relaxing on my blanket alone.

However, I highly recommend taking some time off even if it’s just for a day or two.  Last weekend, I went camping for 48 hours with the folks from www.AgapeLive.com  Two days of virtually no social media (okay I posted a couple of photos, but I wasn’t responding to comments or tweets), eating healthy, sleeping under the stars and soaking in the goodness of nature.   It did my body, mind, and soul a world of good.  I feel like a different person to be honest.   It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. I was 40 minutes away from LA, in a borrowed tent, with a $29.99 sleeping bag from Target. But the experience was priceless.

What can you do this week to give your soul some food?  What have you forgotten about in your daily routine that gives you extreme pleasure?  How soon can you plan a quick little get-away to a nature spot?   Have any favorite spots for a soul-recharge, let me know, I might join you!

*Originally posted on Ms In the Biz July 29, 2013*
I have so many things running through my mind right now, that I’m not even sure where to begin.  I’ve just returned from an amazing time at Comic-Con 2013! The panel that I formed earlier this year (All Shapes and Sizes Welcome), was a hot panel, standing room only on Friday night, and the amount of audience feedback and press we got was overwhelming! (I’ll be talking about gathering your own press in my next Coffee Chat article).

All weekend long, men and women alike stopped us as we walked by to thank us for speaking out about Body Image, the way women are (typically) portrayed in media, and thanked us for being open and raw about eating disorders.  One woman, even came to our autograph signing and said that because of our panel the night before, she had decided NOT to wear spanx under her cosplay that day.  And you know what, I didn’t wear Spanx all weekend either!

It’s like something inside of me started to click, in a talk-the-talk-walk-the-walk kinda way.   My perception is changing about so many things pertaining to my own journey with eating disorders, weight, and self-love.

For instance, there’s a film project I’ve been involved in for over a year now, as a producer and social media expert, and even though I’ve expressed interest in being an actor in the movie, the creator, (and he told me this in his own words last year), doesn’t see a place for larger girls in the world of science fiction.  Now, a year ago when I had this conversation with him,  I agreed, I explained my story, that typically I’ve been able to stay around a size 7 for most of my Hollywood life, and it was only after a big depression and eating disorder battle in 2010, that I’ve put on this weight and stayed at this weight.  I made excuses, I agreed with him, and I assured him that if I was required to lose 50 pounds I could do so pretty quickly.   (It probably wouldn’t be a healthy diet, but I know I could do it, I’m the queen of cleanses and detoxes).

However, after presenting “All Shapes and Sizes Welcome”, twice in the past few months, and speaking to all sorts of people and press on the topic, I’ve changed my perspective on that project.  There IS a spot for a girl my size in the world of science fiction, just as there is a spot for a heavier man (the same project has already cast a man who is very, very large).  And as I’m growing to love myself at this weight (because I know it’s integral to this journey that I not crash diet), I’m realizing other times in my life, where I didn’t “go for it” or made excuses or offered to change something about me, to feel wanted or to fit the mold that was being asked for.

This weekend was life-changing, and it’s allowing me to even more fully embrace the beautiful woman that I am, regardless of the numbers on the scale.

I typically photograph very, very well. I’ve also learned which poses make me look thinner, and I’m a pro with selfies.  Every so often a photo pops up that I don’t like, and I simply don’t accept the tag, but this time around, I did.  I accepted every photo tag that has popped up. The one where my arms look huge, the one where my shirt wasn’t pulled down and there’s a fat roll showing. I accepted all of them, because isn’t that what I’m preaching?  BODY ACCEPTANCE!

So here I am feeling all mighty and powerful, having come off of such a great weekend, having taught, listened, and learned from all of those I encountered this weekend. Having shared stories, and bonded with my panelist girls over our journeys, and then I come home to the premiere of TREASURE YOURSELF.

Just a few days before Comic-Con, I was offered a lead role in a music video, being directed by Jenn Page. I’ve been wanting to work with Jenn Page for years now, and this video was for National Dance Day, as part of the Dizzy Feet Foundation’s mission to encourage dance as a way to combat obesity.  The favorite videos will be featured on “So You Think You Can Dance.”

All of that sounded so awesome, that even in the midst of Comic-Con prep, I took a day out for rehearsals, a day out for shooting, and the morning I was set to head to San Diego turned into some last minute pick-up shots. I was committed to this video, it’s message, and it’s team.   But here’s the thing, with little time to prepare, and no budget for wardrobe, I chose the best pieces for the character, not the clothes and the spanx that would hide all of those parts I don’t like.  I didn’t even wear a jacket over the arms I like to keep covered. I picked the frumpiest, baggiest outfit for the one scene and I picked a form-fitting dress for the other scene, not thinking or caring, not even really registering that what I was doing was NOT HIDING. It was for the character and not Leah!

And here’s where the disconnect comes in.  I know I’m a size 16 right now. But the strange thing is, in the past, even when I was a size 3 or 5, I still thought I was fat. I still had a lot to critique when I saw a photo or a project I had shot, even though somewhere in my head I knew that I was an unrealistic assessment, and I was thin or “average” depending on the year. But this time, I really am FAT!  (And I hate that word, but for this article I’m using it.)

I had gotten so used to avoiding full length shots, and wearing spanx with 3 levels of tight tank tops over them, and using camera angles to make me look longer and thinner, that I don’t think I truly knew what I really look like right now.  As long as I only focus on my face, I can forget what the rest of my body looks like.

Watching and sharing this video was/is very difficult for me.  It’s a beautiful message, it’s shot and directed beautifully, but I think this is the first time in about 2 years, that I’ve seen myself, full-body on camera, with no makeup, no hair, and just raw, real, and me.  No camera angles, no lighting tricks.

And it was difficult and painful to watch.  My negative mind immediately went to , “No wonder you don’t have representation.” “No wonder you’re single.”

Even after this amazing weekend at Comic-Con, sharing and teaching others to accept themselves and love their bodies.

I’ve watched the video about 10x now, and each time I find something else I LIKE about me.  My emotional range is great, my smile, my eyes… the fun energy of it all, and each time I’m focusing less on the fat rolls when I’m sitting down, or the size of my butt as I walk away.

I guess what I’ve realized is that I have a long way to go still. Speaking openly about it is certainly helping, but my reaction to this beautiful dance video, shows me that I have a long, long way to go for my own body acceptance.

And I’m glad you’re all on this journey with me. Please do watch this video, it’s gorgeous and a powerful message for all.  And if you’re on your on journey of self-love and body acceptance, please know that you’re not alone.

XOXO Leah

*Originally posted on Ms. In The Biz, July 6, 2013*

Everyone knows that when you work a job, you get paid. This might be an hourly wage or a salary (flat fee). As you advance in your chosen field, your hourly wage increases, as do things like bonuses and paid time off, vacation pay, sick pay and insurance benefits.  That’s the standard work force in the United States of America.

Unfortunately, this is far from the reality in the creative entertainment industry.  Unless you work for a corporation or a big studio, a production house, as an employee, you’re pretty much a freelance artist thru your entire career.   And what this means is, only you can determine your worth.

As far as I can tell the entertainment industry is the only industry where trained professionals, very knowledgeable in their chosen fields are asked to work on projects for little to no pay.  You wouldn’t ask a doctor, a dentist, a teacher, a construction worker, to take a job for the experience and IMDB credit, but people do ask actors, writers, producers, composers, etc. to do so all the time.

I moved to Los Angeles in the summer of 1999, having worked on nothing outside of a few High School plays.  I began my foray into the LA acting scene at Central Casting for background artists as do most actors that come to town with little experience and no union status. I learned the ropes, the rules, the wages, and when I was joyously taft-hartley’d into the Union in 2005 (eternal gratitude to Robot Chicken), I went to all of the SAG meetings to learn even more.  I went to workshops on contracts, on agents, on managers, on commercials, you name it, if there was a workshop I was there.

Now, the rules and contracts are easy to follow if you’re dealing with big production companies, who play by the rules, but for so many of us we just want to work.  We want to have something to show our friends and family, we want to build our imdb page up, and a lot of times, that means working on a friend’s project or a friend of a friend’s project for copy and credit.

As someone with a large network, and someone who used to promote Hollywood bands, I’ve been asked countless time to spread the word about this band, that film, this event, to my network.  But that network took me years of hard work to build, that’s my network.  So at what point, do you say “I need to get paid”, for ALL of my skills.

For me, that turning point came in 2012.  No more hosting gigs, no more acting gigs, no more social media gigs, producing gigs, promoting gigs for FREE.  I was able to see in myself that I had paid my dues. I had credits, experience, knowledge, a great reputation, and my finger on the pulse of a large, talented network of industry professionals.  Since that decision, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been offered a project, and when I ask my now standard, “Is there a budget?”, have had to turn it down as the answer was no.

I’ve noticed with that one simple question, a lot of clutter and possible drama falls out of my path, and the jobs that are truly credible and going places will come up with a budget if they truly value you and what you bring to the project.

This is true for all industry jobs, not just acting.  Last year, after I made my declaration, I ran into a seemingly amazing project that was looking for social media interns. I decided to take a meeting with the producers. I fell in love with them, and their project, and agreed to “intern” only for their twitter needs. As the days went by, they began to see that my skills and expertise was much more than just twitter knowledge, and the list of duties I was asked to do got longer.  In the past I would have continued to work hard for this project hoping something would come of it, or they would realize my worth and pay me, but let’s face it, if you’re giving it way, no one’s gonna pull out a checkbook.   But this time it was different.  I had made that resolution, and even though I had agreed to do their twitter pro-bono that was all I was willing to give. The next week, I was hired for a 4-day gig, and was unavailable to do anything for the other project. That’s when they saw my worth, that’s when they felt what it would be like, if Leah was too busy (with a paid gig) to answer their calls. It was a scary moment, but I sat down with the creator and explained that I was happy to give them my full-time attention but only if there was a salary attached to that.  And guess what, I got exactly the salary I asked for, while the project was in need of me. A salary that was equivalent to the average person’s weekly 40hr paycheck.

On my journey to self-love and worth, which is really what this article is all about, I hadn’t learned to ask for my needs to be met. I had stood up for myself, and my worth, and my talent, and I was granted what I asked for. Wow.  Imagine that.

Now, I’m not saying don’t ever do work for free, in the beginning you have to, you really do, and often times the contacts alone, and the future job referrals that freebies or pro-bono work leads to are invaluable.. but there comes a time when you have to know your worth.

For me, it ties back to self-love, and maybe it does for you too. Many creatives struggle with self-esteem issues, and so I urge you to value you, value your skills and your expertise, and don’t be afraid to say, “Yes I can do that, but these are my rates.”  Don’t be afraid to ask, “Is there a budget for me?”  Because guess what, as you start to value your worth, the universe will lead you to people and projects who also value your worth.

Of course, you should also pay it forward. I’m at a point in my career where I’ve hired Interns for a few projects now. Some interns have rocked it, some not so much, but you better believe that when the times come that I can get a rock star intern a paid position somewhere, I will have their back like no other. Pay it forward my friends, pay it forward.