All Shapes and Sizes Welcome
  • Home
  • About
  • Upcoming Appearances
  • Past Appearances
  • Panelists
  • Press & Videos
  • Facebook - All Shapes And Sizes Welcome
  • Facebook- Leah Cevoli
  • Thriving In Hollywood
  • Leah's Blog - Weighing In
  • Book Our Panel For Your Event
  All Shapes and Sizes Welcome

WEIGHING IN- KNOw your woRTH

5/27/2015

0 Comments

 
*Originally posted on Ms. In The Biz, July 6, 2013*
Everyone knows that when you work a job, you get paid. This might be an hourly wage or a salary (flat fee). As you advance in your chosen field, your hourly wage increases, as do things like bonuses and paid time off, vacation pay, sick pay and insurance benefits.  That’s the standard work force in the United States of America.

Unfortunately, this is far from the reality in the creative entertainment industry.  Unless you work for a corporation or a big studio, a production house, as an employee, you’re pretty much a freelance artist thru your entire career.   And what this means is, only you can determine your worth.

As far as I can tell the entertainment industry is the only industry where trained professionals, very knowledgeable in their chosen fields are asked to work on projects for little to no pay.  You wouldn’t ask a doctor, a dentist, a teacher, a construction worker, to take a job for the experience and IMDB credit, but people do ask actors, writers, producers, composers, etc. to do so all the time.

I moved to Los Angeles in the summer of 1999, having worked on nothing outside of a few High School plays.  I began my foray into the LA acting scene at Central Casting for background artists as do most actors that come to town with little experience and no union status. I learned the ropes, the rules, the wages, and when I was joyously taft-hartley’d into the Union in 2005 (eternal gratitude to Robot Chicken), I went to all of the SAG meetings to learn even more.  I went to workshops on contracts, on agents, on managers, on commercials, you name it, if there was a workshop I was there.

Now, the rules and contracts are easy to follow if you’re dealing with big production companies, who play by the rules, but for so many of us we just want to work.  We want to have something to show our friends and family, we want to build our imdb page up, and a lot of times, that means working on a friend’s project or a friend of a friend’s project for copy and credit.

As someone with a large network, and someone who used to promote Hollywood bands, I’ve been asked countless time to spread the word about this band, that film, this event, to my network.  But that network took me years of hard work to build, that’s my network.  So at what point, do you say “I need to get paid”, for ALL of my skills.

For me, that turning point came in 2012.  No more hosting gigs, no more acting gigs, no more social media gigs, producing gigs, promoting gigs for FREE.  I was able to see in myself that I had paid my dues. I had credits, experience, knowledge, a great reputation, and my finger on the pulse of a large, talented network of industry professionals.  Since that decision, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been offered a project, and when I ask my now standard, “Is there a budget?”, have had to turn it down as the answer was no.

I’ve noticed with that one simple question, a lot of clutter and possible drama falls out of my path, and the jobs that are truly credible and going places will come up with a budget if they truly value you and what you bring to the project.

This is true for all industry jobs, not just acting.  Last year, after I made my declaration, I ran into a seemingly amazing project that was looking for social media interns. I decided to take a meeting with the producers. I fell in love with them, and their project, and agreed to “intern” only for their twitter needs. As the days went by, they began to see that my skills and expertise was much more than just twitter knowledge, and the list of duties I was asked to do got longer.  In the past I would have continued to work hard for this project hoping something would come of it, or they would realize my worth and pay me, but let’s face it, if you’re giving it way, no one’s gonna pull out a checkbook.   But this time it was different.  I had made that resolution, and even though I had agreed to do their twitter pro-bono that was all I was willing to give. The next week, I was hired for a 4-day gig, and was unavailable to do anything for the other project. That’s when they saw my worth, that’s when they felt what it would be like, if Leah was too busy (with a paid gig) to answer their calls. It was a scary moment, but I sat down with the creator and explained that I was happy to give them my full-time attention but only if there was a salary attached to that.  And guess what, I got exactly the salary I asked for, while the project was in need of me. A salary that was equivalent to the average person’s weekly 40hr paycheck.

On my journey to self-love and worth, which is really what this article is all about, I hadn’t learned to ask for my needs to be met. I had stood up for myself, and my worth, and my talent, and I was granted what I asked for. Wow.  Imagine that.

Now, I’m not saying don’t ever do work for free, in the beginning you have to, you really do, and often times the contacts alone, and the future job referrals that freebies or pro-bono work leads to are invaluable.. but there comes a time when you have to know your worth.

For me, it ties back to self-love, and maybe it does for you too. Many creatives struggle with self-esteem issues, and so I urge you to value you, value your skills and your expertise, and don’t be afraid to say, “Yes I can do that, but these are my rates.”  Don’t be afraid to ask, “Is there a budget for me?”  Because guess what, as you start to value your worth, the universe will lead you to people and projects who also value your worth.

Of course, you should also pay it forward. I’m at a point in my career where I’ve hired Interns for a few projects now. Some interns have rocked it, some not so much, but you better believe that when the times come that I can get a rock star intern a paid position somewhere, I will have their back like no other. Pay it forward my friends, pay it forward.

0 Comments

WEIGHING IN: Your DREAM DOESN'T HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE

5/27/2015

0 Comments

 
*Originally posted on Ms. In The Biz, June 3, 2013*
Picture
Last month, I talked about my struggle with body image and eating disorders, and spoke candidly about the realization that for most of my adult life I haven’t been happy with the way I look on the outside, no matter what the numbers were on the scale. This month’s “Weighing In”, has nothing to do with weight, but it all goes back to self-love.
I’ve spent the past year, for the most part, living out of three suitcases. In May 2012, I put in a 30-day notice at the town house I rented for the past seven years in Los Angeles, and just let go. I had no plan, other than to find a dream guest house in the Hollywood Hills for me and my kitty-cats.
Long story short, I didn’t find that guest house in 30 days, instead I had a huge yard-sale, said goodbye to many childhood possessions, put a small amount of things in a friends garage, and began what I affectionately termed and blogged about as #GypsyMode.
At first I rented a room in an apt with a friend for a month in West Hollywood, from there I spent 2 months on a friend’s couch in Sherman Oaks.  At that point, I was offered a 6 month tour managing gig in Philadelphia (my hometown), and headed east.  My car remained in Los Angeles, my youngest kitty moved in with a friend in Gardena, CA, and my oldest kitty got on the airplane with me.
The tour gig ended abruptly after 3 months, so from there I rented a room in Manhattan for 30 days and blogged about my Adventures In NY  I then spent a few weeks in Las Vegas, and a week in Atlantic City, New Jersey; working at tradeshows and conventions.
And from there, I went to Nashville, where I lived on an acre of land, and was a nanny for three boys ages 10, 5, and 3.  I truly wish I had done a Nashville blog similar to my NY blog as it was a magnificent month of spiritual growth.

That was my year in a nutshell, and in March of this year, just before Wonder Con, I returned to Los Angeles.  I had a pet-sitting job set up for 3 weeks and after that, I wasn’t sure what was next, but I knew that I was tired, and I wanted to unpack my suitcases, reunite my 2 kitties, drive my own car again, and for all intents and purposes be still for a while.
So here I am 2 months into LA, had a GREAT panel at Wonder Con, have had non-stop press for various activities and projects I’m involved with, have moved into a beautiful guest-room in a house in the Hollywood Hills, reunited with both kitty cats and my car, am working on two great film projects, and I’m still feeling like it’s not enough.
Wait? What?  A year ago, I sold all of my things and was basically “homeless” travelling like a gypsy, and now, I’m back in LA with all of the things I said I wanted, and it’s not enough?!


Picture
I went to my favorite Tuesday Yoga Class at Runyan Canyon this morning.  It’s beautiful, donation-based, every week, in the park.  Kamala & Siri from Fire Groove teach the class, and today’s focus was on really breathing love and gratitude into your life, into whatever place you are, whatever pose, however far you can or cannot reach. Be happy and grateful for where you are.
At the end of class, they invited us to pick a card from a deck they had spread on a yoga mat.  I don’t recall the name of the deck, but it was from the teachings of Esther & Abraham Hicks.  The card I chose said, “See What You Want To See.”
And it hit me… I’m looking at my life and I’m still seeing struggle and lack and loneliness.  Just like the me that looks at myself in the mirror and sees “fat” no matter what the scale says, I’m looking at my external world and seeing lack.

So as of today, I’m changing that viewpoint, because you know what?   I’m writing this blog from a gorgeous guest-room in the Hollywood Hills, it came fully furnished with the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept on!  I have my own bathroom.  My two cats are healthy, happy, and laying on the bed next to me. My car is parked outside.  I’m working on two amazing film projects, with a cast and crew sure to make anyone take notice. I have food in the refrigerator, money in my bank account, and more jobs lined up.

I am in Los Angeles, making my dreams come true.  And I have family and friends that love and adore me. It’s true, we see what we want to see, and what we see becomes our reality.

I know this is all part of my journey to self-love, and I choose a new course today, the course I’m on is one of improvement each and every day, filled with gratitude and love for how far I’ve come, what I’ve accomplished, and the beauty and opportunity that presents itself to me (and you) every single day… all we have to do is SEE IT.

LIVE LOVE. LOVE LIFE.
XOXOX Leah 



0 Comments

Weighing In: A journey Of Self love

5/26/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
*originally posted on Ms. In The Biz, May 6, 2013*

I’ve lost 10 pounds this month. I haven’t been eating all that healthy, and outside of a few hikes in the canyons of LA, I haven’t been working out much. I attribute the weight loss to the progress and the transparency I’ve embraced about being open about my struggles with an emotional binge eating disorder and a warped sense of body image.

In large part, this came about thru a recent panel at Wonder Con that I put together called “All Shapes and Sizes Welcome: Body Image and Women’s Issues in the Entertainment Industry”; which featured Helenna Santos-Levy, Adrianne Curry, Amber Krzys, Lynn Chen, and Miracle Laurie.

Picture
However, the body image struggle has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, and long before I found myself in the most body-obsessed industry and city in the world. I’m not exactly sure what happened or what triggered it. I was a happy, fairly active child, participating in dance, gymnastics, cheerleading, and other sports.

When you look at the photo to the left, what do you see?   I see a little girl with a belly sticking out. And it was about this age, approx age 10, that that belly started to take center stage in my mind.  Truth be told, I was born with a tiny bit of scoliosis, nothing that could be fixed, but enough of an issue that it caused me to hunch over, be a tad lopsided, and thereby cause my stomach and butt area to stick out slightly.

Picture
Somewhere around age 12, I began to feel more and more self-conscious, and although I had been an avid swimmer and loved pools, lakes, ponds, and oceans, I started to shy away from wearing bathing suits, and by age 16, you’d be hard press to find me in anything that didn’t cover my stomach area.  

Now, I know as a logical human being that the child and teen in these photos is in no way, shape or form overweight, but that’s just it, when it comes to body image and eating disorders, there is no logic.  It wasn’t anything major, nothing that kept me from having a happy and social teenage life, as long as swimsuits weren’t involved, but some time in my college years, is when the over-eating really began to take shape.

I had always used food as a way to bond with family.  As a child, I would have competitions with my Pop-Pop to see who could eat more mashed potatoes or Chinese food (Pop-Pop a former Navy man, was fit and athletic, and the mashed potatoes didn’t show up on his hips or thighs.)  But by college, there was a drastic change.

Picture
My face had started to get rounder, and my frame larger, and next thing I knew, I was at Jenny Craig, weighing in at 186 pounds.   After joining Jenny Craig, my mom confessed to me that, she had to hold back the tears just a few weeks prior when we went dress shopping together and she saw me in the dressing room.   Isn’t it interesting how those that love us, have a hard time being truthful with us about something so important like our health and weight, yet we have no problems gossiping about celebrities and their weight?

Jenny Craig was successful for me.  I lost 62 pounds in 10 months, and was even featured in mainstream magazines like Marie Claire and Cosmopolitan.


Picture
Picture
Picture
Life was good. I was buying shorts, and borrowing clothes off my little sisters.  Things were great, my weight issues were gone.  Or were they?
Flash forward 10 years, and now I’m a working actress in Hollywood, California on the set of HBO’s Deadwood.   I had kept off most of the weight from Jenny Craig,bouncing around in about a 20pd radius.. but something went awry in my brain while working on Deadwood (a show, cast, and crew I ADORED!). I was introduced to the Master Cleanse. I did it for 40 days straight.  No food and nothing but the cleanse drink for 40 days. Looking back, I realize, although I was working on the show, and was hired for the way I looked, curves and all, the lead actresses on the show were much, much thinner. And I wanted to be a lead actress.



Picture
Picture
At the time I thought that girl was healthy.  I look at her now, and can see how tiny her face is, and how her neck and shoulder bones are protruding.  I had no idea how tiny I had gotten in just 30 days.  In fact, the wardrobe dept on Deadwood expressed their concern as they had to take my clothes in from a size 30 waist to a 23 waist.
That cleanse threw my body and mind out of whack and for the next few years, I was obsessed with cleanses and detoxes.  Gain 10 pounds. Do a cleanse. Gain. Repeat.  As an intelligent woman, I know this is not healthy for my body, my metabolism, or my digestive system. But I couldn’t stop.

About 3 yrs ago, I got it under control, and began using a nutritional program called Isagenix (www.selflove.isagenix.com).  These products made me feel healthy, helped me maintain my ideal weight (130pds at 5’6 ½), and were packed full of vitamins.  I was also in the midst of the busiest career year of my life, and working out regularly.  I felt GREAT.
Picture
And then… in 2010 I experienced a bout with emotional binge eating unlike anything I had ever experienced.  I found myself going to Starbucks ordering sugary drinks and breads 3-5x a day, AND going thru drive thrus 2-4x a time. I could NOT stop.

I remember thinking that I would like to choke and die on the French Fries as I shoveled them down my throat.  My head was saying… you’re not happy… eat… but you’re really not happy when you’re fat… oh well…keep eating.. .maybe you’ll choke.
In a matter of about 3 months, I put on 60 pounds.  And a few months later I put on another 20 pounds.  I hit an all-time high of 206 pounds.And here I sit. And have sat, since 2010.
In 2011, I took some time off from LA, and went back east.  I started seeing an acupuncturist and a spiritual healer. I used aromatherapy, and yoga to get my balance back.  I feel like the happy, normal, productive Leah again… yet the weight hasn’t come off.
And now, it is.   Because I am being open about this struggle, because I am talking about it, and involving groups of women at panels, and you here at Ms. In The Biz.  And because… I think, I am finally starting to love the little girl inside with the tiny belly that sticks out because of her scoliosis, and the woman who she’s become.
The other night, I was at a charity event, and I walked by this gorgeous mirror. I stopped. I looked at myself. And even though I knew I was tired and hadn’t had time to do my hair or makeup.  I looked at myself, and I paused, and I thought, “Wow. You are beautiful. I love you.”  And I was filled with emotion and love for the soul in the eyes looking back at me.

It’s a long journey back to self-love and recovery.  I am still struggling with binge eating, but I am doing much better, and I have all of you to thank for that. For holding space, for listening, for just being. I hope to keep you all updated on my progress.  *Live Love. Love Life* 
A body collage 2006-2012


Picture
0 Comments

    Author

    Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.

    Archives

    July 2020
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.